from the edge of the deep green sea

The Satanic Smurf

I was watching a show the other day and it had a spoof on the Smurfs show, which I was completely hooked when I was I kid. I then remembered in 4th grade, when Angie, the chick that had completed the Smurfs sticker album broke it down to me:

“The Smurfs are Satanic”

I kinda flipped out and she said her family forced her to throw everything smurfy to hell. The rumor was that some girl used to sleep tight with a stuffed Smurf.  One day, when she woke up her face was covered with cuts and bruises and the Smurf had its plushy paws covered in blood.   That’s what she gets for not  clipping her Satanic Smuf’s nails like the rest of us did.

Coca-Cola + Alka-Seltzer = Awwwwww Yiah!

This rumor started up at high-school dances, and it would have made everyone’s day if indeed the myth would have been true. If you threw Alka-Seltzer into a chick’s Coca-Cola, she would get horny as hell and you would be able to score big time. Well, as anyone who has ever heard this rumor back then and actually tried it (most likely 100%), this never worked, at least for me

Talking to the Dead with a #2

This really baffles me, what kids would do back then when there was no Internet. You would need 4 pencils and 2 stupid people. Each would hold the pencil with each hand (eraser side out) until the tips of the eraser lined up. You would then ask a question, if the pencils moved inward, then the answer was no (or yes, I don’t remember). The game was called Miguelito, because this dead kid was apparently the one who caused the pencils to move.  Think of it as the poor man’s ouja board and yes, the results were just as effective.

Juan Santamaría (National Hero)

Hmmmm…yeah….right…this guy who is in the middle of the battle and whose sheer talent is to play the snare drum was the best candidate to try and set the house on fire where enemy forces were hiding in battle.  Not only that, but he somehow manages to carry a torch and set the house on fire while rushing into a bullet storm. If you seriously believe that, let me tell you all about the tooth fairy…

The Attack of the Satanic Songs

Besides the obvious culprits of Satanism (AC/DC, Twisted Sister, etc.) a band in the 90s caught a everyone’s attention and shortly after were referred to as Satanic. The duo was called “Amistades Peligrosas” (Dangerous Friendships), and their #1 single was called “Me Haces Tanto Bien” (You do me so well). Their video below:

What hinted people of their satanism?

• The use of a horny devil courting a horny devil-she?
• The lyrics “you ravel your fire tongue around me”?
• The overuse of fire in the video and lyrics?

Who knows, but everyone misunderstood all fire, hot, and sweaty references and ignored what the song was all about: two very horny people who cannot get enough of themselves.

I actually had a hard time remembering some of these stupid myths and legends, any obvious ones I missed? (besides the Negrita

BONUS: While researching some of these myths, I stumbled some Costa Rican typical myths and legends.  One of which was “The Cristo of Esquipulas” which is a ripoff of the Negrita story.

This is really old but watched it yesterday in a flight from Miami-Costa Rica. I was crying from watching this clip, could have been the wine, dunno, but I found it extremely funny. The combo part made me spit out my wine.

Untitled from grumpytico on Vimeo.

Patience – I has it

Here is an e-mail that my nephew’s teacher sent my sister regarding my nephew, thought it was hysterical and pretty much sums the attitude that runs in my blood.

From: “” <>

Date: August 28, 2008 10:52:00 AM GMT-06:00

To: “‘” <>

Subject: RE: Diego Ortega Saborío (CAR)

Diego,esta haciendo un esfuerzo por no pegarle a sus amigos…

Lovely, eh?

Oh yeah, I conceived a LOLcat , even though it is a turtle…if you don’t know what LOLcat is, then you must have a life. Anyhow, rate this puppy 5 stars (hamburguers) so I can make it to the front page:

http://mine.icanhascheezburger.com/view.aspx?ciid=1716809

I can has your vote?

Just found out about this great great idea. At the Garfield Minus Garfield blog, the author takes away Garfield from the comic strips, and you end up with John – talking to himself. With Garfield, this poor bastard was sad, without Garfield anywhere on the comic, it is downright creepy. After reading 10 or so, you start wondering when this guy will slit his wrists. Take this once for example:

How sad is that?!?!? Not sad enough?

Brilliant!

No comment necessary.

E-card here.

A little too ironic…yes I really do think.

No comment.

Bored out of your mind or just sitting at work with nothing to? Go ahead and read this article in its entirety now:

2007: Seven Things We Should Pretend Never Happened

I find it particularly funny, well written, and could not be more accurate…some of my favorite quotes:

“…Of course, the industry had not yet convinced the public that they needed the gigantic televisions in the first place, since most people already figured out that having a gigantic television simply meant you had to sit further away from it. So it actually occupied the same field of vision as a regular TV you were sitting closer to, only the big TV cost thousands of dollars more and now you had to shout across the room to be heard by your family…”

“…The combined love and craftsmanship in the every copy of Windows Vista sold in 2007 would roughly equal that put into one toddler’s Play-Doh snake. Here was a program with several features, such as a warning box that pops up every five minutes or so to ask you if you’re sure you want to do what you’re doing, so shamelessly broken that they seemed to have been added on a drunken dare…”