WTF is Twitter and why you should not care
November 13th, 2008
Twitter, twits, and bits. Do we really need yet another social networking site? I think so. Twitter is a difficult site to describe, especially to someone who has a life. Most non-techy people feel like they are pwning the Internet with Facebook, explain to them the concept of twitter and their heads will explode.
To me, twitter is a place where I share information with my geeky friends. It saves me the time of going to my e-mail program and writing an URL, sending it, and expect a feedback. It is quick, it is effortless, and it works. However, in the (I hate this fucking word) twittersphere, I have perceived several patterns that I thought I’d share in this post on what Twitter is and isn’t (and this is completely based on my opinion, it will offend people, and that is the sole purpose of this blog).
Twitter is NOT a place to make friends
I really don’t understand how people who do not know other people in Costa Rica have gatherings with people they have met in the ‘Internets’. Are you shitting me? Have you realized how fucked up people behind the keyboard can be? Watch that movie “Hard Candy” to catch my drift. “Fuck you, Grumpytico, I have met really cool people over the Internet, especially Twitter!!” Sure, we’ll just have to wait how long it takes for you or one of your organs to show up in the front page of a newspaper. The Internet is for PORN, not for finding friends. That’s what bars, parties, and drugs are for.
Of course, this is just me, I hate people in general.
Twitter is not for Bragging
This is the one that really pisses me the most. I know Twitter is open and you can twit whatever the fuck you want, but just like in real life, your “humbleness” can really bring out the worst in people. Next time you twitter, think to yourself on how necessary it is for someone to know that you are going to Sydney to an awesome conference, on how you got your employer to send you to a really cool event, on how you got first class and you are living the high life in the champagne room. You are not the first, you are not the last – and the reason why you might feel so important might be not because you are unique, but rather because no one else is as LAME to brag about those things.
Twitter is for Increasing Web Traffic
Yes, if you have a blog, Twitter might be a good way to someone to end up in your site and read the stupid shit you write (some of you might be experiencing this effect first-handedly; congrats!) There is nothing wrong with this, write unique stuff, make people comment about it, that’s the whole idea behind raising you site’s presence on the Internet.
Twitter is for finding Unbiased Information
One of the twits I enjoy the most is Amelia Rueda. I have the latest issues on catastrophic Costa Rica without having to visit La Nación, a newspaper that actively censors the comments made by users on their posts. So fuck the paper press, get the news from quality reporters who will go the extra mile to get the news across (without any biased salad dressing). Stop the press. Fuck the press.
Twitter is there for you to share info
[think for a relevant picture here, I got sick of looking for theme based pictures]
E-mail sucks ass. We know it. Use twitter to effectively manage the stupid shit you want to get across. Are you looking for a 70s porn torrent? Twit it. Do you know how to download something no one else should? Twit it. Did you just farted and it smelled funny? Twit it.
By the way. I am looking for a 70s porn movie called “Little Girls Blue”, a fucking classic!
November 14th, 2008 at 6:22 am
I´m going to CQ this weekend, yes CQ is a little town in CR where all you can do is drink beer and almost never do something entirely different – there you go, this one is way better than going to Sydney for a conference :ninja call me whatever the fck you want i don’t care.
BTW: “i’m going to CQ this weekend, ” should be read “i live in CQ, ” :lol
Amelia Rueda rules, no doubt about it, who ever thinks otherwise is just a stupid bastard that thinks internet is for making friends (good one grumpy)
Now twitter, sorry i let myself go(like we care? – right grumpy? :lol), is just twitter, i’ve said enough already and must get back to work…
November 14th, 2008 at 6:45 am
Ay qué bueno está este post!! No podía contenerme la risa cuado leí la sección “Twitter is not for Bragging” porque DEBIA leer dos palabras y ver la imagen, buahahaha. Esperemos que esto le sirva de mensaje a las “personas que se puedan sentir ofendidas”. En fin, te dejo dos links, en el segundo podés encontrar nuevas amistades al lado izquierdo de la página xD
http://tinyurl.com/6ll88j
http://www.torrentportal.com/torrents-details.php?id=3437392&filelist=1
November 14th, 2008 at 7:45 am
@Ronny: I’ll have to find myself an icon pack that has the ninja icon for your posts xD Kudos on CQ, good luck with your most awesome conference!
I lol’d on the comment on “who ever thinks otherwise is just a stupid bastard that thinks internet is for making friends”… too funny!
November 14th, 2008 at 7:48 am
@Xio: Oí música angelical cuando abrí los links para encontrar esas reliquias del pasado cuando la porno era en VHS y uno rezaba para que el HP cassette saliera del VCR player de los tatas
Sabía que el icon de bragging te iba a hacer gracia!
November 14th, 2008 at 11:36 am
Soy troglodita y hasta hace un mes aprendí a bajar chécheres via bit torrent, ergo, twiter (sí, con solo una “t”, hoy amanecí subversiva) me parece un mamarracho.
La porno setentera, por el contrario…
November 15th, 2008 at 6:44 am
Después de RE CONTRA desdoblarme 10 veces de la risa con este post y en especial “You are not the first, you are not the last – bla bla bla” te digo que esa es exactamente una de las razones por las cuales soy una de esas rarezas que no le ve el chiste de estar metida todo el día en cuanta putada sale para conectarse con gente… porque la gente simplemente me desespera!!! Si, soy una arrogante de mierda que ha aprendido a escoger 4 gatos como amigos que hasta ahora satisfacen perfectamente todas mis retorcidas expectativas
el resto de los seres para mi es como estar en Internet, te entretienen por un rato y luego los desechas o te desechan. Punto, sin resentimientos.
twitter: sólo porque me lo recomendó un amigo que tiene más de 2 dedos de frente es que lo tengo en mi lista de cosas para hacer. Pero esta vez que no se te hinche el ego my dear, no fuiste tu!! Y seguramente me tomará (como lastfm) unos meses para que tenga el tiempo de hacerlo, más bien ganas.
Para serte honesta me declaro muy débil ante tanta inutilidad, digo, cuántos cientos de mensajes te tienen que llegar para que salga un pinche que valga la pena?!?!!! Ah?? No se, a veces prefiero seguir en el viejo modo de si necesito algo me tomo un espacio para buscarlo y así no me juego el chance de que innecesariamente (como nuestro querido GG diría) se me parta la vista con tanta estupidez.
November 15th, 2008 at 6:56 am
@angelica: linda chita!!! que bueno que es encontrar a alguien que aprecie la porno de los 70s. Cuando baje la movie la pongo en el DropBox – de hecho es TAN buena que tiene una secuela.
November 15th, 2008 at 7:24 am
@maria: nah, Twitter no es ni cerca de lo necesario que LastFM es. En la gran parte, esto es para perder tiempo y todo va perdiendo su gracia. Facebook es como crack la primer semana, luego ya más bien es una pega porque uno empieza a ver gente que no hubiese querido ver en toda su vida. “Some lame ex-classmate wants to be your friend”…crap.
Twitter es más selecto creo yo, y no vas a ver no corazoncitos ni escarcha ni culeoladas que te provoquen regurgitar tu almuerzo…bueno, me retracto de la última, definitivamente sí las hay
November 15th, 2008 at 7:55 am
Si, eso me imaginé… Facebook, o me lo bloquearon por poco uso o se me olvidó la clave, tengo meses de meses de no usar y hi5 fui totalmente iluminada desde el inicio y nunca tuve.
No se, seré retrógada (como tan elocuentemente dice Angelica) pero sigo disfrutando de camino al brete escuchar a Amelia Rueda reputiando en vivo a los diputados (actualmente la única razón por la cual enciendo la radio)
Y finalmente: si o no, que no hay programa en este mundo que le quite la gracia de sentarte en tu sala escuchando un acetato, leyendo la contraportada y créditos en compañía de un buen vino? hmmm… sweeeet…
uyy!! GG viene a mi mente de nuevo! te acuerdas? Adriana Varela, el vino y buena compañía.
November 15th, 2008 at 8:01 am
Fé de Erratas: Angélica dijo troglodita. De igual forma identificada.