Fuck Century Link with a Passion

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I can’t even begin to explain how frustrated I am with CenturyLink right now. It is the stuff of nightmares, and it is a story worth telling a million times. I’ve been on hold for good 3 hours today, I have been told of by a chat representtaive and my problem is nowhere close to being resolved. The worst part is that I simply want to cancel the service. A service they have failed to install more than 10 times.

A little background before we go further. I look after a property in Seattle, an AirBnB rental. I am currently living in Australia, which makes the management of the property even more challenging. For this reason I work with a friend, Joyce, who helps me with everything. She is my point of contact for everything there.

It all started about a month ago, when I contacted them to get a new service for DSL as my current provider, Wave internet, was lacking in terms of customer service. Every now and then the internet went down and having them coming to repair it always took some time. The problem with my area in Seattle is that it was not serviced by anyone else but Wave, but recently I found that CenturtyLink was an option and I thought to give it a go. Fuck that cursed day when I made that decision.

It all seems fine and dandy when I opened the account with them, service was scheduled to be installed 5 days later. Instructions from there end were simple: the tech would call us 30 minutes before arrival so we could meet him/her there. Instructions from my end were also very simple: don’t call me, call Joyce at the phone number I provided.

This is when the nightmare begins:

  1. We originally scheduled June 13 to have service installed. We advised to call Joyce and gave her number. Tech ends calling me (at 2:00 am Australia). Since I do not answer, he simply leaves.
  2. Reschedule for the 14, apologies everywhere from CenturyLink. Same story happens, they call me again when they were supposed to call Joyce. Joyce calls and try to see what’s up only to be told she is not authorized. What? I authorized her since day 1! So now I ask them to remove my fucking number from their system and only keep Joyce’s.
  3. Reschedule for the 20th, same story happens.
  4. Reschedule for June 21, tech calls me … AGAIN.
  5. Joyce was all morning in the unit and tech never showed up.
  6. Reschedule for June 22, tech calls me AGAIN
  7. I call the tech he says he’ll be there next day.
  8. We wait next day, nothing. Bear in mind this house is an AirBnB and we are trying to juggle everything between guests. Joyce has to travel from Bellevue to Seattle every time, incredibly exhausting for everyone.
  9. Reschedule for the 23, no calls, another failure.
  10. Reschedule for July 5, no show. Joyce calls, one hour on the phone: the appointment was in your system but somehow no tech was sent.
  11. Apparently the tech will arrive July 6 to set things up – no call, now show-up, nada.

So at this point I write them a letter explaining how frustrated everything has been via the contact form in their webpage which they gladly reply with:

“Unfortunately, we cannot resolve your request through e-mail. Please call 1 800-491-0118 or use the click to chat button on the following page:”

So fuck it, I’ll just cancel the service. I ring them up, 30 minutes on hold. Meanwhile I contact them via the chat on the webpage (all whilst the hold recording says something about CenturyLink being #1 in customer service…fuck off!) and the representative tells me that she can help. I hang up and she puts me on yer another chat hold and I eventually get a Crystal H, the name you would expect from a stripper giving you a lap dance at a strip joint – not someone who is about to assist you in settling your account.

So I beg and I say ‘uncle’, I beg the strip…eh..Crystal to cancel my account and then she tells me (after verifying) that she needs a pin. I eventually find the bloody pin and she says ‘no can do’, there are TWO accounts under your name. And this is somehow my fault. I get aggravated and I tell her that it’s another F*** Up (literally, like that) from her end. And she replies that she will not tolerate coarse language. I censored it, for fuck’s sake!

So after that she asks for the pin of second account…I don’t have it! I never received info for that account so the cunt (sorry, she is one) simply closes the window chat and leaves me with my thumb up my ass and back to square one. Yes, I am in the same place I was this morning: NOWHERE.

You have won the battle today, CenturyLink, but not the war. I’m sure this is far from becoming viral, but I swear by my left testicle that I will go to every yelp, google map, and everything in-fucking-between and I will let the wrath of my review wreak havoc on your fucking reputation. If I can get one person to not consider you as their ISP, I’ll be in heaven, you cock-sucking-mother-fucking-cunt-assholes.

Oh, here is chat transcript if you are bored shitless:



You are chatting with Nina S..
info: How may I help you today?
Grumpytico: Hi Nina, I was just wondering if you could forward a complaint to the right channel?
Nina S.: Christian, I am sorry. What is going on?
Grumpytico: I have scheduled about 12 appointments for installing the service and CL has failed me each and every time
Grumpytico: I'm on hold to cancel the service, but would like for someone to know how messy this was
Nina S.: I am very sorry to hear that, I really am. The best way is to send and email though our Webste.
Grumpytico: did that
Nina S.: through** Website**
Grumpytico: and here's the reply
Grumpytico: Unfortunately, we cannot resolve your request through e-mail. Please call 1 800-491-0118 or use the click to chat button on the following page:
Grumpytico: on hold and just read that you guys are #1 in customer satisfaction...oh the irony! :D
Grumpytico: seems like you guys just pass the ball to every other department and no one gets it right, incredibly disorganized, so frustrated with all of this
Grumpytico: I just want it to be over, now on hold for 20 minutes to cancel the service
Grumpytico: this is inhumane
Grumpytico: can you help me cancel the service thru here?
Nina S.: Christian, let's get you to retention to cancel you will not be on hold for that long but you can always call escalations to escalate. You would call the 1-800-244-1111 and ask for escalations.
Nina S.: Would you like retention to cancel?
Grumpytico: sorry, what's retention to cancel?
Grumpytico: should I hang up? the hold message is driving me mad
Nina S.: That is the cancellation/ save department.
Nina S.: I would I hate being on hold.
Grumpytico: yes, how do I reach them?
Grumpytico: sorry, it's up there
Nina S.: I can transfer you via chat 
Grumpytico: You would call the 1-800-244-1111 and ask for escalations.
Grumpytico: oh wow, that would be great, please do so
Nina S.: Yes to the escalation question. And I will transfer you now. Thank you. 
info: Please wait while I transfer the chat to the best suited representative.
info: All CenturyLink Sales and Service Consultants are currently assisting others. You are currently number 16 in queue. Thank you for holding, and we will answer your chat in the order it was received.  

(parenthesis here: their queuing system is so fucked up that you UP the queue as time goes by...oh dear)
info: All CenturyLink Sales and Service Consultants are currently assisting others. You are currently number 17 in queue. Thank you for holding, and we will answer your chat in the order it was received.  
info: All CenturyLink Sales and Service Consultants are currently assisting others. You are currently number 17 in queue. Thank you for holding, and we will answer your chat in the order it was received.  
info: All CenturyLink Sales and Service Consultants are currently assisting others. You are currently number 17 in queue. Thank you for holding, and we will answer your chat in the order it was received.  
info: All CenturyLink Sales and Service Consultants are currently assisting others. You are currently number 14 in queue. Thank you for holding, and we will answer your chat in the order it was received.  
info: All CenturyLink Sales and Service Consultants are currently assisting others. You are currently number 10 in queue. Thank you for holding, and we will answer your chat in the order it was received.  
info: All CenturyLink Sales and Service Consultants are currently assisting others. You are currently number 10 in queue. Thank you for holding, and we will answer your chat in the order it was received.  
info: All CenturyLink Sales and Service Consultants are currently assisting others. You are currently number 10 in queue. Thank you for holding, and we will answer your chat in the order it was received.  
info: All CenturyLink Sales and Service Consultants are currently assisting others. You are currently number 10 in queue. Thank you for holding, and we will answer your chat in the order it was received.  
info: All CenturyLink Sales and Service Consultants are currently assisting others. You are currently number 9 in queue. Thank you for holding, and we will answer your chat in the order it was received.  
info: All CenturyLink Sales and Service Consultants are currently assisting others. You are currently number 9 in queue. Thank you for holding, and we will answer your chat in the order it was received.  
info: All CenturyLink Sales and Service Consultants are currently assisting others. You are currently number 6 in queue. Thank you for holding, and we will answer your chat in the order it was received.  
info: All CenturyLink Sales and Service Consultants are currently assisting others. You are currently number 6 in queue. Thank you for holding, and we will answer your chat in the order it was received.  
info: All CenturyLink Sales and Service Consultants are currently assisting others. You are currently number 7 in queue. Thank you for holding, and we will answer your chat in the order it was received.  
info: All CenturyLink Sales and Service Consultants are currently assisting others. You are currently number 6 in queue. Thank you for holding, and we will answer your chat in the order it was received.  
info: All CenturyLink Sales and Service Consultants are currently assisting others. You are currently number 5 in queue. Thank you for holding, and we will answer your chat in the order it was received.  
info: All CenturyLink Sales and Service Consultants are currently assisting others. You are currently number 5 in queue. Thank you for holding, and we will answer your chat in the order it was received.  
info: All CenturyLink Sales and Service Consultants are currently assisting others. You are currently number 3 in queue. Thank you for holding, and we will answer your chat in the order it was received.  
info: All CenturyLink Sales and Service Consultants are currently assisting others. You are currently number 3 in queue. Thank you for holding, and we will answer your chat in the order it was received.  
info: There are currently no available agents to interact with you. Please try again later.
info: There are currently no available agents to interact with you. Please try again later.
info: Thank you for contacting CenturyLink for your internet and television needs.

To ensure compliance with Payment Card Industry guidelines, please do not share your credit card information, security code, or CVV/CVC in the body of this chat. If required, your credit card information will be requested through a separate, secure window.

You are chatting with Crystal H..
info: How may I help you today?
Crystal H.: Thank you for choosing CenturyLink. My name is Crystal. How may I assist you today?
Grumpytico: thank you Hi
Grumpytico: I want to cancel service ASAP
info: Your chat transcript will be sent to christian@saborio.org at the end of your chat.
Crystal H.: Will you please verify the CenturyLink telephone number or account number that you have with us? 
Grumpytico: Account -> XXXXXX
Crystal H.: Thank you. One moment, please
Crystal H.: Thank you for your patience. Please verify your full billing address and either your three digit customer code. This will be found as the last three digits of the initial order number 
Grumpytico: XXXXX
Crystal H.: Thank you. As well as your three digit customer code. This will be found as the last three digits of the initial order number
Grumpytico: CenturyLink Account Number: XXXX
Grumpytico: Order Confirmation #XXXX 
Grumpytico: I don't have anything else b/c you have not installed anything
Grumpytico: that is why I want to cancel this
Grumpytico: I have been on hold for 1 hour
Grumpytico: you've stuffed up 12 appointments
Crystal H.: I need the one in reference to the account number you provided me 2063230745. 206-325-0587 is a separate account
Grumpytico: please just cancel everything, I don't want to hear ANYTHING about your company EVER again
Crystal H.: I understand you have been waiting a while. I will still need to apply with my policies and procedures. I will need proper verification before I can access the 206-323-0745 account. 
Crystal H.: It seems as though you have multiple accounts
Grumpytico: well, that's yet another F*** up by you guys then
Grumpytico: Jesus christ this is a nightmare
Grumpytico: so where do I find this blessed pin number?
Crystal H.: I would appreciate it if you did not use inappropriate language. If you continue to do so, this chat session will end. I will need the three digit customer code for the initial account number you provided me. If the information cannot be verified, I will not be able to access the account
Grumpytico: tell me where to find it
Grumpytico: I have the email you sent me at the beginning 
Grumpytico: I have all emails that you have sent me and that is not anywhere
Crystal H.: Again, This will be found as the last three digits of the initial order number. This would be the order number for the 206-323-0745 account you provided me. I can cancel the 206-325-0587 account as you provided me with the proper verification for that account
Grumpytico: Im sure you can verify me some other way
Crystal H.: So to cancel the 206-323-0745 account, I will need the initial order number for that account
Grumpytico: 142
Grumpytico: BOOM
Grumpytico: cancel it please
Grumpytico: and I expect no to be billed one cent since you have not provided any service
Crystal H.: That is for the XXX account. As I have mentioned, I can cancel that one for you. I need the three digit customer code for account number YYY to cancel that account. This will be found as the last three digits of the order number for that account
Grumpytico: Let me get this straight
Grumpytico: You created an account for me, sent me the info and in the process created yet another account. And now you want me to find the ghost 3 pin number of the account I never received information about?
Grumpytico: Please read that sentence above various times to see if it sinks in.
Crystal H.: 2063230745 and 206-325-0587 are separate accounts. You have two spear ate accounts. You've properly verified the 206-325-0587 account. 2063230745 needs to be verified as well. If this information cannot be verified, I will be forced to end this chat. 
Grumpytico: Why are there two accounts?
Crystal H.: Our full customer care department will be able to provide you with the proper verification information. They are available at 1-800-475-7526. Since the information cannot be verified, I will need to end this chat

 

 

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