from the edge of the deep green sea

Yesterday I went out for a few brewskies and came back home mildly intoxicated. As I often do in this state, I launched the good ol blog blog program and was about to bitch about something. I then noticed ‘Garage Band’ was open. I had been playing with it earlier while waiting for my ride.

I played what I had done so far and liked it a lot (the power of alcohol). I then stayed awake for 2 more hours (again, the power of alcohol) sampling all the loops I could get to make this sound somewhat decent.

I just woke up mildly hungover (you thought I was going to put the ‘the power of alcohol’ here, didn’t you? See how wacky and unpredictable I am?) listened to it once more, and I am still liking it. Scratch that, I am REALLY liking it.

This is the first time I aim for a techno song, and it (quite a surprise) came out kinda dark. I have named it ‘The Madoff Principle‘ and is available to download from here.

If you want to leave your wishes to be as cool as me when you grow up, use the comments!

Yay - I have something to bitch about and guess what? It’s not about religion - w007!

I read a message in Tweeter that highlighted an interesting video. I saw the video and instead of having this guilty feeling because there are people who do not have enough to eat, I felt enraged and sickened to the bone. If I were a real ninja, I would have flipped out and kicked everyone’s ass in the video, including the director and the writer for loading this load of bullshit on the Internet. Dwarf pron would have made better use of the Internet than this shit.

The description from the video is the following:

Synopsis: This film is about the hunger and poverty brought about by Globalization. There are 10,000 people dying everyday due to hunger and malnutrition. This short film shows a forgotten portion of the society. The people who live on the refuse of men to survive. What is inspiring is the hope and spirituality that never left this people.

Please watch the video and then come back.

Yeah, this video is for you. For the moral person who pays taxes to support families that procreate at a faster rate than bunnies fucking with Viagra. For you, the person who has chosen to live at a slow pace and raise a family with caution so that you can give them a good life. Don’t YOU feel guilty because these people lead a shitty life?

I don’t know if in-between the mellon-collie music that would make Chuck Norris shed a tear (of pain of course, that accent makes anyone cry), you noticed something about the family in the end:

Am I the only one who sees the problem here? The problem here is not that there is not enough food, but rather that these women cannot keep their legs closed for crying out-loud. You have a table filled with empty mouths (about 10 kids from what I can tell in the video) and one in the oven and these people wonder why they are miserable?

Is it so wrong to control human birth? I am not saying to follow China’s model of only 2 kids per family, but rather have some record of how much someone makes vs. the number of kids they have. If they are below poverty levels and they are popping out kids like puppies - CLOSE THE DAMN FACTORY!!

We control animal growth by neutering dogs, why can’t we do the same with human beings? What’s that? We’re not animals? Right, we’re so much civilzed than animals:

Ah yes, and to top it off:

Did you see that? Even though they are eating shit, they never lose faith and pray to the almighty. See now you should really feel like a complete turd should be reaching for your checkbook to help…dumbass.

And I’m not sorry for being an asshole about this, I could easily be a two-faced bitch and comply with everyone’s expected “ahhhhh” and “poor souls”, but let’s wake up - uncontrolled human growth at poverty levels is what is fucking everything up. Think about it.

I am being lazy today, so I will show you via youtube how to create a USB bootable drive on OS X.

You need:

• An HFS formatted USB drive that holds > 5 GB data
• An OS X disk image (you can also drag the volume I assume)

So fire up Disk Utility and do this:

Compare that to installing Windows 7 on a USB stick…think you can do it in less than 30 seconds? I think not.

Sorry Zapone, I don’t mean to keep spinning on the religion topic but these things come at me w/o me looking for them - for shizzle.

Some fellow from Twitter posted the following today:

“the most influential atheist of the world admits god exists”

To which I was like “oh shit, we lost Dawkins“.

Fortunately, it was not Dawkins, but someone called Antony Flew, which as we all know, is a fucking nobody.

What made me laugh, was the page where this originated from (I know I am contradicting myself in the commandments of not linking to what you don’t like, but this is priceless):

http://idyanunciad.com/?p=1146

First off, I think the religious group in charge of the web page should pray to their god in order to find a web designer who does not lack a sense of aesthetics (or is blind, I still can’t tell). I mean, come on, what the hell is this? An angel giving us the middle finger?

Secondly, if you read all over the article, it claims that Flew has found empirical scientific evidence stating that DNA is so complex that there had to be a supreme being who made this all possible. I applaud this observation…as a matter of fact, I have created a chart that explains the complex scientific process by which Flew managed to reach this observation:

As my good friend Matt Johnson puts it in The Violence of Truth:

Why is it that anything on this Earth
We do not understand
We are pushed down on our knees
To worship or to damn?

Those are the rules of religion
Those are the laws of the land
That’s how the forces of darkness
Have suppressed the spirit of man

And then it hit me…this idiot is now part of the bullshit religion that thinks that they are based on facts: intelligent design. Don’t even get me started with this, if you think they have grounds for anything they say, then maybe you should be praying to the Flying Spaghetti Monster instead. And, if you are looking for intelligent design, then look no further than your freakin’ desk:

Whenever I want an opinion that is outside my area of expertise, I contact someone who knows what he/she is talking about.  This only makes sense – you will not want to get a house appraisal from your friend who practices scuba diving, you would not want to get computer purchasing advice from someone who mastered in geography.  So…that being said, can someone please explain to me why the fuck are catholic priests writing sex education guides?

Of all the people in the world, the ones who are not having sex (or so they claim), who most likely had some kind of messed up sexual encounter that lead them to choose a path of celibacy, are now teaching kids about sex.  NO NO NO and FUCK NO.

These guides should be written by field experts, not by people whose meaning of “sex” is boinking the altar boys.  As a matter of fact, the priest that was recently found to have a girlfriend (big scandal) should co-author the stupid guide – he ‘might’ know a thing or two that his celibate colleagues are completely ignorant on.

I would not be as pissed about this whole ordeal if at least what they were writing made some kind of freakin sense.   The article where I grabbed the information that follows is from La Nacion, sent to me by Pablo.

Here are some of the brilliant ideas that these assholes are trying to send to our kids:

the use of birth-control mechanisms such as the condom and the pill are FORBIDDEN

Did everyone get that?  STOP having protected sex, start boinking everyone without condoms and let’s all help spread HIV and the shitload of venereal diseases – yes let’s do that.  Oh, but these shit-for-brains have it all covered, this will never happen because (get ready):

sexual relations should only happen during marriage, everyone should be celibate until then

What time are these people living in?  If they think their stupid writings has more power than a stampede of horny adolescent hormones, then they are in for a treat.  And just when you thought they could not pull a anything stupider, they show this full-house of ignorance over insanity:

the guides recommend not talking about sex with your kids until adolescence.

Yeah, let’s just avoid that shall we?  I mean, if we don’t talk about it, it doesn’t exist right?  What’s the worst that could happen?

You know what the problem is with this people?  They are so pissed that their stupid religion imposes chastity rules that they want everyone else to be miserable as well.  This is NOT them caring for the well being of everyone.  This is a greedy, self-centered tantrum so that no one else can be happy.

Think of the catholic church as the chubby kid in 3rd grade that told on everyone when there was mischief – the little bitch wanted to be part of it, but since she couldn’t, she spoiled it for everyone.

I really don’t know what other tales of stupidity are hidden behind the pages of this despicable book of dipshits, but I am looking forwards in reading it. 

Long time since I published something – blame it on my twitter, that thing is like ‘dulce de leche’ ice cream smothered with crack and sprinkled with cocaine – YUM YUM!!

Anyhow, today I was driving around San Jose with no iPod, so I had to listen to the radio.  I heard many political ads (elections are very soon here in Costa Rica) and apparently every aspiring thief presidential candidate has the magic formula that will end this reign of violence and crime that has been layed upon us for quite some time.  The funny part is that they don’t mention how they are going to do it.  Throw us a bone here!  I guess we will only find out what your most awesome crime stopping plan is if you are elected – you have my vote!  NOT!

I really despise presidential elections, I really do.  These fellows seriously think that we are fucking stupid or something, they always have the same formula: taking a current topic and lie their ways into election by faking as if they are going to fix it.  Bullshit, I tell you. 

If anyone wants to have this reign of criminal chaos reach it’s end, then they should come clean, because shit will remain unchanged until serious changes take place.  Here are my ideas:

I would start by attacking the problem at its roots.  Ask yourself this question: why do we have crimes?  I believe that when children grow with 20 brothers & sisters, in a family that could barely sustain a dog, then bad things are bound to happen.  You have irresponsible mothers and fathers, whose kids grow in the streets to become drug dealers, end fucked up smoking crack and eventually committing serious crimes.  My solution is simple: if a family has reached the point where they could not sustain X number of children, then snip-snip the dude’s tubes and close down the factory on the mom.  Crude?  Yes.  Effective?  You bet your ass. 

“but that attempts against human rights!”

Yeah, so does a a fucker who kills women at point-blank distance.  The murderer who kills her daughter’s mother in front of the child.  The sick bastard who chops his ex-wife with a machete because she wants to leave him…catch my drift?

Of course, you know this will never happen.  The laws of this country revolve around the Human Rights movement, which will never allow that and my next super good idea: the death penalty.

“but it has been proven that the death penalty does not decrease crime”

Maybe so, but if a fucker ever kills someone I love, nothing will bring a smile on my face until I see him/her suffering and dying.  NOTHING.

“but the death penalty is expensive!”

How much can a piece of rope and a chair cost?

“but Jesus told us to put the other cheek…”

AH SHUT-UP ALREADY, HOW MANY STUPID QUESTIONS ARE YOU GOING TO ASK?!?!

I also think that the biggest problem is the fact that jail sentences here as lame as can be.  Murderers who have not committed previous crimes are roaming in the streets months after their apprehension.  Do you know how frustrating this has to be for cops?  They risk their lives to get the scum out of the streets, only to have the judicial system slap captured criminals on the wrists and placing them back on the streets.  These things can only be changed with an update to the Costa Rican Constitution, and I would not hold my breath for that to happen.

So I ask the Costa Rican candidates – what’s your plan to end this reign of shit?  Because if it does not include any of my super awesome ideas above, I will be voting for this guy, and not you, next time around:

Until then, enjoy living in the eternal paranoia that your life can end any second because you are wearing the watch that some asshole wants. 

I often ask myself why we suddenly decided Pluto was no longer a planet. Most likely certain prerequisites were not met and *BAM*, suddenly the little guy was not good enough for the rest of the planets. Poor Pluto - all alone, moons, stars, and constellations constantly mocking him and he has no one to turn to….ummm…..where was I going with this? Ah yeah, Judas!

One of the worst characters in everyone’s favorite fairy tale book the Bible is Judas, for he sold good ol J.C. for some silver coins and then hung himself (this is what I recall from Mel Gibson’s movie, don’t take my word for it). The concept of Judas being a traitor has extended many cultures, where people oftentimes call others “Judas” when they refer to a lying, betraying sack of shit.

A while back, based on newly found scriptures, the emerging idea that Judas had not betrayed J.C. surfaced. Apparently, it was all part of J.C.’s masterplan:

“The Gospel turns Judas’s act of betrayal into an act of obedience,” says Craig Evans, a professor of the New Testament at Acadia University in Nova Scotia. “The sacrifice of Jesus’s body in fact becomes saving. Judas emerges as the champion and he ends up being envied and even cursed and resented by the other disciples.” (http://bit.ly/PXl8T)

From spiritual rags to spiritual righteousness - good for you Judas! Now the whole world will undoubtedly respec….what? We’re still reenacting the burning / hanging of Judas in Costa Rica? No really, Christian people, what the fuck is wrong with you? Here comes a Gospel that points you in the right direction and you dare look away and still cling to your beliefs? I am starting to give up on these sheeple, there really is no way to put rational ideas into their minds, even when you abide to their own rules of the game.

So here we are: It’s easier for us to demote a planet than to take the word of a scripture to undo an act that glorifies anti-semitism and hate. To me, it seems like Christian people always take the path that leads directly to Satan, and I find that hysterically disturbing (BTW, we had riots proceeding this stupid reenactment here in Costa Rica, definitely Satan’s minions @ work).

And always, always remember:

Just because you’ve always done it that way doesn’t mean it’s not incredibly stupid.

You know, if I were a God and my dad sent me to a shithole to be killed by the same people I was supposed to save, I’d be really pissed right now. Think about it - you were tortured, humiliated, betrayed, and nailed to wooden cross only to make sure everyone and their dog can have two extra days of vacation here in Costa Rica during this week. What? Oh, that’s not the true meaning of these days? Well perhaps not. Maybe I am wrong and the city streets are deserted not because people take these days to migrate in a massive exodus to the beaches, but because the churches at the beach are way better - maybe that’s why.

This is what pisses me off about religion, it’s a big wall of bullshit whose facade has been smothered and covered with good messages, but it is deeply rotten and I am sick of its stench. What sickens me to the bone is is the hypocrisy that surrounds these days amongst the ‘believers’. Here are two days that are official holidays, probably created with the naive thought that people would somehow think about what their god did for them - but nooooo. Let’s pick up the coolers, the beer, the whores, the skanks, and let’s fucking party - w007! (even though these days no alcohol is sold, people stock up on booze like it’s the end of the world).

Oh what’s that? We can’t go to the beach because grandpa is coming back from the hospital? Well screw that son, let’s pack our shit and leave him at the hospital for a few more days, I’m pretty sure he’ll be able to pray there a lot better! http://www.nacion.com/ln_ee/2009/abril/05/pais1927850.html

I don’t have a problem with people behaving like animals and partying like idiots, I actually enjoy watching, and sometimes taking part of these mystic rituals. But here is the beauty of this post - I am not a priest giving you a sermon about what to do because it is written in a scripture. I am an atheist reminding catholics that these two days in which your saviour died for your sins, *MAYBE*, just maybe, should be used to reflect upon your beliefs, on you as a person, on your acts, on how to become a better human being instead of rushing to the beach to relax or party. But what do I know, I am only a godless man.

I wrote this a while back while enjoying the sweet (un)sanity that only alcohol can bring.  I took it down shortly after, don’t know really why.  Today, a good friend commented that he partially read it and could not finish it, but had liked what was exposed from what he read.  So here it is, enjoy!

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I don’t need a creed of any sorts to tell me to honor my father.  I do honor my father and mother with the uttermost respect. I understand and respect every sacrifice they have made in their lives so that my sorry ass and my siblings can have a better life.  And most of all, I will always admire the fact that they have managed to make my brother and sisters feel we have this blood liason that shall never, ever die.  The blood tie is there; but making you feel it, and respect it, is what I am talking about it.

I would not die for a god of any kind.   Screw that, there’s already armies of stupid people who would gladly drive a spear to their hearts  to get into heaven and comply to their heavenly figure.  Nah – I don’t believe in heaven or hell, in  mortal damnation, in Buddha, in Shiva, in Allah, in the easter bunny, in right vs. wrong, the Tooth Fairy,  in ying and yang, or in the sacred book (of any sorts) or in any god.

I don’t believe in your gods – i don’t need them; for my mother and father have ever since filled that void you have seeked up to fill with an imaginary friend.

Good day to you, kind sir.